Hi! Thanks for being here. Summer starts tomorrow somehow! Here’s a collection of takeaways and faves from Gemini season this past month (May 20th - June 20th). You can find an overview of Cancer season’s upcoming astrology at the end of this newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed or would like to upgrade your subscription, you can do so below.
it’s giving charcuterie
Target wishes you a happy pride! Happy pride from the Pope, too, who can’t seem to stop saying the f-slur in meetings. Oh, and happy pride from Tinder as well, which almost banned me for saying I’m a dyke in my profile. Now, I’ve been gay for a long time, but I’m definitely in the middle of one of the gayer pride months that I’ve had.
On the gayest day yet, I went from a full day of work with some queer clients, to a pride party hosted by one of my workplaces, to this queer kink party that a friend invited me to. The night was so fun! I wore this mesh bodysuit with rhinestones on it that I got a lot of compliments on. There were so many hotties — one of whom is actually a subscriber to this very newsletter! If you’re reading this: hi, it was nice talking to you, and that scene you were in was really hot! I would love to share more about the party here but I don’t want to risk not getting invited back. (I did not have the same concern about the cuddle party I attended and wrote about.)
Here’s some of the other gayer moments from this month so far:
setting up a badminton net with my ex’s new partner at my ex’s birthday party, and fetching some duct tape that I keep in my car to help with the setup
feeling a little jealous of my ex’s new partner at the party
gossiping with and kissing a friend in my car afterwards
getting back on the Her app
quickly remembering why I deleted the Her app
hosting an ex visiting from out of town, and holding hands with her before falling asleep together
going on a date at the lesbian bar on the night that a queer jazz trio happened to be playing, and both of us wanting to leave within ten minutes of their set starting — she because it was too loud and I because the trombone player wasn’t very good
matching again on Tinder with a woman whom I matched and hooked up with nine years ago before she moved away
two friends telling me separately on the same day that I’m the biggest dyke they know
celebrating another year of my little business being open
reading several new lesbian novels
writing a sapphic ranking of the songs on Billie Eilish’s new album
We have ten more days to enjoy all the pride discourse and rainbow corporate logos — let’s make the most of ‘em!
late spring
When I discussed some of my favorite astrological seasons back in Virgo season, I forgot just how much I like Gemini season. The vibes are top-notch! I’m a Gemini rising so it feels like a fresh start in a way. I feel restored by the air energy, all flitty and witty. This time of year, I want to talk more than I want to listen. I left a few social hangs recently wishing I’d been asked more about what’s going on in my world, and I didn’t know if I could fully trust that impression. I’m certain that I did enough yapping otherwise the past few weeks to make up for that though.
This one day in particular, I drove all around to hang out with three separate friends, all of whom were fire signs, and I almost went to see a fourth fire sign friend that evening. By that night I was honestly more tired of driving than socializing. Also, another group chat was formed as I worked on this piece last night, and I was grateful for the social distraction from my (self-imposed) deadline. That’s Gemini season for you! Or for me, at least.
It was too much of a good thing at times though, not just in prioritizing anything social over everything on my to-do list, but also in overanalyzing texts and interactions, in questioning how friends actually feel about me. It turned out that I was right for overthinking some situations, but my being right isn’t just a Gemini season thing — that happens year-round.
Some of the longest days of the year happen as Gemini season carries us from spring into summer. I’ve been sleeping poorly and barely enough, waking up with the sun and struggling to fall back asleep ever since I stopped taking melatonin a few months ago. I love these sunsets after 8:30 pm though; being able to come home from work later than I’d like, but still having time to decompress then take a walk before it’s too dark. They’ll only last another month here.
But I don’t want to be thinking about how the days are getting shorter again as the summer goes on — I don’t want to be thinking much at all. I want to be hiking out to the river, sipping fruity seltzers from a glass with grenadine and a cherry, wearing hardly any clothes and still sweating through them, kissing strangers and maybe some friends, swimming in the lake, learning to recognize more constellations, listening to the afternoon storms, reapplying sunscreen, eating too much watermelon, and feeling okay. Mostly, hopefully, feeling okay.
faves ♡
🎵 “Never Need Me” - Rachel Chinouriri
I like this kind of breakup bop — ones where it’s like you want me but I only want you to be well. MUNA’s “Anything But Me” is another great example. Is it better to desire or be desired? Would that one could help it, but with regards to past lovers, probably the latter.
🎶 “365” - Charli xcx
This album! Brat is all I’ve really been listening to the past couple of weeks — apologies to my roommate and downstairs neighbors. I started having what I think was a cute lil hypomanic episode after it came out, and this is exactly the music I was craving. Did the album rewire my brain, or was I just being revved up by the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter all being in Gemini? I’m not sure, and that’s the power of Brat! I’m just livin’ that life.
📕 Perfume & Pain - Anna Dorn
This book! It’s a novel that’s inspired by 50s and 60s lesbian pulp fiction. It was a fun read full of dyke drama, and I liked the portrayal of addiction in the main character, Astrid. She has a whirlwind, drug-addled love affair with a woman named Ivy who brings a lot of mess and toxicity into her life. Ivy has this semi-anonymous Tumblr where she writes about her love life, which I can, of course, relate to. A big difference between her blog and mine though is that she is so mean in her writing! Here’s an excerpt from her hardly-anonymized post about Astrid:
She was your standard East LA narcissist — she’d been inside me like 12 times before she even bothered to ask me where I was from — with an addictive personality and an insatiable hunger for melodrama. But also so awkward and tragic and really living in her own world, like completely oblivious to anything outside herself … Do yourself a favor and never develop feelings toward Asterix.
After reading that chapter, I honestly felt a lot better about my (good) intentions with this newsletter. The contrast between what this toxic lesbian character would write about someone versus what I would reassured me that I haven’t used anyone for content, and I’ve been sharing about my experiences here from a place of care and consideration. Whether you want to believe otherwise or you think my newsletter would be a little juicier if those things weren’t the case, I’m sorry to disappoint!
🎞️ I Saw the TV Glow
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this movie since I saw it a few weeks ago. My friends and I were lost for words on the drive back because it was a lot to process. It really resonated though and we liked how 90s it felt, especially the retro quality to the soundtrack. My favorite review I read afterwards was this essay about the hidden hope of the ending that examines the movie through a trans lens. I want to watch it again now with this piece in mind.
🏳️🌈 Qstack
Y’all — I was added to the culture and media section of this directory of queer Substacks, along with Roxane Gay and Michelle Tea! There’s several other writers in there whose work I’ve been following for years, and I’m really excited about it. Yes, I did submit my newsletter to be listed, but it still feels undeserved. Like culture and media? I have less than 100 subscribers! I don’t live in New York or LA! I haven’t seen most of the original L Word! These people are all Writers and I’m just some girl who writes about her tiny little corner of the world. The listing went live for the first day of pride month and this still feels wild every time I think about it. Grateful to be here, and thanks for reading!
🏖️ Shibumi
Another gay thing I did this past month was going to the beach with the ex I’m besties with. It was such a sweet little day trip! We borrowed a Shibumi from our friend (thank you!), which was something I had not seen or heard of until my ex mentioned it. If you were also unaware, it’s a shade that uses the beach breeze to provide cover. It was great! I get overheated pretty quickly, and we were able to stay out there for a lot longer because of the shade. I’m going to the beach again later this week with a different friend who also has one now. Shibumi should sponsor me because I would love to go on even more beach trips with my hot friends.
Cancer season astrology: June 20th - July 22nd
June 20th - Summer solstice & Cancer season starts 😎 4:51 pm eastern
June 21st - Full moon in Capricorn 🌕 9:07 pm
June 29th - Saturn retrograde begins (until Nov 15th) ⏪ 3:06 pm
July 2nd - Neptune retrograde begins (until Dec 7th) ⏪ 6:40 am
July 2nd - Mercury → Leo ♌ 8:50 am
July 5th - New moon in Cancer 🌑 6:57 pm
July 11th - Venus → Leo ♌ 12:19 pm
July 20th - Mars → Gemini ♊ 4:43 pm
July 21st - Full moon in Capricorn 🌕 6:16 am
July 22nd - Leo season starts 🦁 3:45 am
Thanks for reading — happy solstice and happy brat summer!
𝒞 💚
My fav piece I wrote this past month:
And the previous astro season newsletter: