missed connection

#19: aquarius season (2025)

Feb 17, 2025

Hi there. How are you holding up? Like a lot of folks, I don’t quite know the right way to start an email right now. I’m grateful you’re here reading this though.

Here’s a collection of takeaways and faves from Aquarius season this past month (Jan 19th - Feb 18th). Pisces season starts tomorrow, and you can find an overview of some of the upcoming astrology at the end of this newsletter.

It’s hard being single right now. No, of course that’s not the most urgent issue or my biggest problem currently, but it’s on my mind. A lot of us are stressed and overwhelmed out here, just trying to make it through each week. I’m still trying to meet up with folks from the apps in spite of it all, but people are saying it’s not a great time for it. They’re telling me they’re not up for new connections right now because everything feels so heavy — and like yeah, I know! That’s why I’m trying to hook up!

Like, I totally get it, I really do. I’m not judging anyone. But are we just supposed to not fuck as things collapse around us? It kind of feels like the perfect time to!

Maybe I’m on the wrong apps right now. My bestie somehow met someone through the Scrabble app recently. Or there’s always AA — I haven’t really tried to pick anyone up from meetings, but that worked for some folks at this one local meeting where most of the home group members are dating each other. Should I broaden my horizons and open myself up to dating too? I mean, I do happen to be looking for housing at the moment as well, and now that I think about it, there’s a time-honored lesbian tradition that could really work in my favor:

On the subject of being single, I probably like Valentine’s Day more than the average single woman. Leslie Feinberg was right — it’s a high femme holy holiday! And I love love, what can I say? It’s sweet to have an excuse to love a little extra on yourself, your friends, your partner(s), your kids, and more.

People love to hate on Valentine’s Day though. It’s a made-up holiday – yeah, they all are! Something something consumerism – okay, so write your sweetie a heartfelt card or give them head or something. It’s a holiday for heterosexuals – what happened to love is love??

Some people add a disclaimer about Valentine’s Day to their couples photo posts and stories, and it’s like, c’mon, just love on your person! No need to justify — lean into it! Lean into the love! No one does that disclaimer thing with Father’s Day, but that’s even more made up (and how many of us really have a reason to celebrate it?).

Sorry to be doing Valentine’s Day discourse on the 17th of February, but that’s when this piece is coming out. Anyway, out of all the holidays, why do we hate on the cute one so much? It can be fun! Have fun with it! …in 362 days — okay that’s enough from me about this now.

Astrologically, it’s been weird out here too. So many ups and downs for me, but mostly downs and more downs. People in AA are always saying let go and let god, but I don’t think I like letting god slam door after door in my face. I wouldn’t mind a window or two opening — just putting that out into the universe!

Last week’s full moon in Leo in my third house made me feel emboldened in what’s been coming up for me around communication and writing lately. I’m recommitted to working on this writing project now that I was excited about, but had put aside before I even really got going because I was (and still am!) worried about how it’ll be received. I also did the hard but good thing of sharing some concerns with a friend about a dating situation she’s in.

It can be difficult at times to live in one’s values — creative experimentation and self-expression, being lovingly honest with friends — but it’s especially important to do so right now. I’m not saying this to be self-congratulatory or anything. I just mean that if we do that work at the personal and interpersonal levels, I think we’re better able to do so at the community and societal levels (and vice versa). I hope we can do this together — I’ll see you out there.

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faves ♡

🎵 “Lesbians <3” - Alice Longyu Gao

“A lot of you lesbians are fucking crazy” is an incredible way to start a song. This is such a bop! I made it the song on my Tinder profile. I like that the pre-chorus is her specifying the number of lesbians she’s talking about: “A lot of you lesbians / not all of you lesbians / but most of you lesbians / are fucking crazy.” But she loves it, as she sings in the dancey chorus. I do too! For better or worse though (definitely for worse), I think this song could easily be about me.

🎶 “Perfect Stranger” - FKA twigs

I’m obsessed. This is definitely my fave off her new album, and I wanted more of the songs to feel like this one honestly. “Eusexua” and “Striptease” are really good too though. And her music videos! Mesmerizing is the word that comes to mind. The odd phrasing of some of this song’s lyrics (“I don’t know the food that’s your favorite now,” “Please don’t say that I must know,” and others) somehow works. Musically, I like all the emphasis on the off-beat — it makes me want to mooove, especially in that outro. I love the danger! You’re the perfect stranger!

📝 How to Write Sex (and Why) class with Garth Greenwell

I got so much out of this class! I enjoyed What Belongs to You when I read it a while back, so I was excited to come across this offering of his. He talked about some of the challenges of sex writing and some contradictions present in writing (and having) sex. We also closely read and compared some great sex scenes. I want to go read The Price of Salt now, and For Today I Am a Boy too (love the ANOHNI reference). His workshop made me wish I had taken more English classes. This did lead me to find a night school here that has some neat courses though! Might fuck around and take a class about writing love letters next.

📕 Love in a Fucked Up World - Dean Spade

Dean Spade’s new book came out at such a good time. Some of it is a rehashing of concepts from the existing nonmonogamy and relationship self-help literature, like the romance myth and attachment styles. Writing about these concepts and others in a politicized framework, and how they can affect our social movement efforts as well as our friendships, felt newer to me though. I did a lot of underlining and earmarking pages as I read. It probably won’t be long until I want to consult the list of steps for how to de-escalate a crush or obsession. The chapter on revolutionary promiscuity was really good, too, and I especially liked the ideas of casual sex protocols and mad mapping. I could probably benefit from making a list of bottom lines as well (even though I’m a top). I’d recommend checking out this book!

🐝 Yellowjackets

Yellowjackets is back! And it’s gayer! And it’s like, just okay. Like, it’s alright and I’m going to watch it because I’ve been watching it and I want to see what happens, but what is this show doing. More lezzing out is always a good plot choice though.

Pisces season astrology: Feb 18th - Mar 20th 🌠

Feb 18th - Pisces season starts 🐟 5:07 am EST

Feb 23rd - Mars direct (retrograde since 12/6/24) ➡️ 9 pm

Feb 27th - New moon in Pisces 🌚 7:44 pm

Mar 1st - Venus retrograde (until 4/13) ↩️ 7:36 pm

Mar 3rd - Mercury → Aries ♈ 4:04 am

Mar 9th - Daylight saving time starts 🔆 2 am

Mar 12th - Saturn cazimi (conjunction with the Sun) 🌞 6:28 am

Mar 14th - Full moon & lunar eclipse in Virgo 🌝 2:54 am (stay up late or wake up in the middle of the night to see the eclipse! more info here)

Mar 15th - Mercury retrograde (until 4/07) ↩️ 2:46 am

Mar 19th - Neptune cazimi 🌞 7:24 pm

Mar 20th - Spring equinox & Aries season starts 🌷 5:02 am

Thanks for reading! The sun sets at 6 pm here tomorrow, and I’m glad for that at least. I hope there are some things you’re finding to appreciate out here too.