it was a pleasure to yearn

#17: sagittarius season (2024)

Dec 20, 2024

Hi! Thanks for being here, and thank you for reading my newsletter this year!

Here’s a collection of takeaways and faves from Sagittarius season this past month (Nov 21st - Dec 21st), as well as this past year more broadly. Capricorn season starts tomorrow, and you can find an overview of some of the upcoming astrology at the end of this newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed or would like to upgrade your subscription (at a discounted rate!), you can do so below.

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year(ning) in review

This year, I probably yearned more than I ever have. The lesbian longing was off the charts, and lez be honest — we yearn in a far deeper and more profound way.

Things were different this year, too, because most of what I yearned for was actually good for me. Please clap!

A lot of the desire I felt was in the realm of my love life, of course. I felt it for some people I’ve dated or hooked up with in the past, for people I did and didn’t match with on the apps. I impatiently waited for texts and messages back, hoping someone wasn’t doing a slow fade out or just ghosting. There was yearning about a coworker or two, and yearning after a local barista or two (okay, maybe three or four). I yearned a bit for some of my newsletter subscribers too (heyyy 😘). I don’t think any straight women really occupied much space in my mind or heart this year, so that’s some growth.

Mercury retrograde just ended the other day, and I spent it the way I spend most of them: secretly hoping that people from my past would reach back out, egged on by the retrograde energy. Sadly, this did not happen. I myself kept it together and didn’t go texting anyone out of the blue either — also growth!

In addition to a little bit of longing toward a couple of my friends, I also felt a longing for new friends and for more of a connection with my current friends. It was a weird year in friendship for me, to say the least, in part because of this tweet that messed with my head for a solid month. I don’t want to go back and find it and risk giving you a new thing to worry about. It had to do with someone’s long-term friends versus you as a new friend though.

I brought up my fear about this to a (newer!) friend of mine, and they reassured me that it was bullshit — that so many people (such as themself!!) are out here also trying to form new connections even if they have some long-term friendships. They helped talk me out of the little complex I was developing, and since then I’ve been connecting with some new people with a bit less anxiety in the back of my mind. I’m relieved, and excited too.

If you’re also yearning for new friends, there are so many people (such as myself!!!) who might want to be your friend. Put yourself out there! Meet someone’s long-term friends, too, and maybe y’all will become friends as well!

I was yearning for so much else this year too: books that would blow me away, music that I’d want to play on repeat, weather that I’d want to stay outside in, new favorite recipes. Answers and solutions to the health issues that were getting worse. More writing ideas and more experiences to write about. Generally more to romanticize. At risk of being overly-posi I’ll say that to varying degrees, I got these things. I’m grateful and I’m not taking any of that for granted. And! I want even more in the new year.

Here’s to yearning harder, better, faster, stronger in 2025, in spite of it all.

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faves ♡

🎶 Spotify Wrapped

The vibes were off with this year’s wrapped, but it was still fun to see the top artists and songs. My top artist was Charli, of course, and MUNA was in my top five for yet another year. Three of my top five songs are off of Brat, unsurprisingly, and the number one song is one that I’ve been gatekeeping. I will continue to do so, sorry. But here are a few from the top songs playlist that I haven’t included in an astrology season post this year:

And here’s a sad Christmas song that made its way into the playlist too:

📚 fav books of 2024

My two favorite books I read this year were Private Rites by Julia Armfield, and Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar (wrote about this book here). I just read the former last week and I can’t stop thinking about it. I would’ve already started rereading if I weren’t trying to get through some new books I discovered on other best-of lists I’ve seen. The blessing and curse of this time of year: so many new books I find that I want to check out, so little time to read all the new books! And then the new year starts and the TBR list gets even longer. Anyway, some other faves from this year:

A Good Happy Girl - Marissa Higgins (wrote about it here)

Colored Television - Danzy Senna

Perfume & Pain - Anna Dorn (wrote about it here)

Worry - Alexandra Tanner

Intermezzo - Sally Rooney (wrote about it here)

How to Fuck Like a Girl - Vera Blossom

🥧 no-bake gluten-free vegan chocolate pie

I made a pie that I hadn’t tried making or eating before to bring to a dinner with some friends — risky move. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten such rave reviews for a dessert I’ve made though. I took the better parts of two recipes I found online for chocolate pies without gluten, dairy, or eggs, and made something surprisingly delicious for not having any of those ingredients. Even one of the boys who was there wanted the recipe. So I’m finally typing it up and here it is. It’s easy and it doesn’t taste like tofu at all, don’t worry.

Unrelatedly, Google Keep is a better notes app than the Apple one. I’m a good judge of this as a Virgo, and so of course I’m right about this as well.

🩻 medical imaging

The x-ray image in the piece I shared last week is easily the most expensive picture of me from this year. It’s def the coolest too. It’s also proof that I have a heart, for anyone who may have been wondering.